there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
