I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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