no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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