I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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