i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
