I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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