I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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