summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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