I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize