Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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