i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
