I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize