you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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