It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize