ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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