Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
