You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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