five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
