STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
