That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
