I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.