where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking