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• (212): View more from New York

  We won't sleep together?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine

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• (360): View more from Washington

  sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you sleep with him again?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The fuck? Where?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

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• (646): View more from New York

  I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.

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• (510): View more from California

  I have photo proof.

  (415): View more from California

  Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.

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