I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.