1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
