i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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