Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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