idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
