He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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