Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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