walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize