dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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