You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
