We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she peed on how many people?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
