I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
