There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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