Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
