Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
