I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
