Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
handjob tips. give me some.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
