Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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