Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
