I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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