Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girl is more easily done than said...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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