my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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