Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize