I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize