so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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