We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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