and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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