Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

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(325): View more from Texas

suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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(561): View more from Florida

definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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(925): View more from California

I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

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(206): View more from Washington

i want to swaddle you in tequila

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(605): View more from South Dakota

it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?

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