the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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