dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
