she sounds like chewbacca in bed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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