I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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