I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize