If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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