Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
