Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
