Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
