I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
