I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
