Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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